One of many nights in 2020, a memory.
I remember clearly, one rainy night when I desperately wanted to reach out to you. Whenever I had good news or having a good day, I was dying to tell you, but I couldn’t. When I had bad news and I’ve got no one to turn to, I couldn’t tell you either. I couldn’t send it to you and I had to keep it to myself. I hesitated because I was trying to forget everything about us and move on.
As I look back at that moment, I recall feeling a deep sense of loneliness and despair. The cold, rainy air seemed to only amplify my feelings of being lost and alone in the world. I felt so alone. It was then that your name came to my mind, like a glimmer of hope in the darkness. I felt as though you were always there, just out of reach.
Forgetting you won't be easy. Reading all of our old conversations only made me feel worse and talking to you again felt like you just dumped your guilt on me instantly without any remorse. I wasn’t supposed to contact you again. All I could think of was that I had to move on. I had to do it on my own.
In the end, we have to choose what’s best for ourselves and that’s all there is.
Just get on with your life like people do.
